So now that I have accepted that she is a toddler, I have also accepted that she will not be "caught up" by two and most likely by three either. But thats all ok. The progression of her development has always been very cyclical for me. The stages are :
Worry - I spend too much time scrutinizing her skills compared to her peers. I know better... comparing kids never ends well.
Anxious- I will notice progress but the process of the progress drives me crazy. I know better ... its her schedule not mine.
Proud- I finally recognize her progress and how amazing she is and spend some time just marveling at her and her latest accomplishment.
Annoyed- As I linger in the proud stage, I find that everyone else is moving on to the next skill or the next thing that she may be delayed in. Annoyed and feeling like others just come stomping over our confetti I quickly get thrust back into the worry stage.
Whether it was vent weaning or crawling ; bottle feeding or walking - I haven't been able to break the cycle. One of these days I will get "caught up" and learn how to temper the worry, anxious and annoyed and how make that proud stage extra special.
Hi there!
ReplyDeleteI had to comment on this post. The truth of the matter is that every parent goes through these stages with their kids. Virginia has had to face more challenges than most babies but nonetheless, most parents worry that their child isn't doing what other children their age are doing. I think that you can't help but measure your success as a parent to what you are seeing around you - as ridiculous as that is. Plus, you want your child to measure up to their peers - again, ridiculous! I do think that it gets easier with each child you have. I always said that I should have had my 3rd baby first. By that time I knew that there was no sense in worrying because each child decides in his or her own time what is right for them. It was much less stressful being the parent of a 3rd child than the parent of a first child! Hang in there. Virginia is doing great and so are you!!!
Thank you Maureen! Its important for me to hear that my feelings are normal! I am thankful to have all the resources that we have already in place for her, but it does send these feelings into overdrive sometimes!
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