perspective

Its been a busy 19 months few days  and I had lost some perspective.

It was gained back this  morning during the chaotic 30 minutes between when Sarah (our nanny/babysitter/great friend) arrived and when I arrived at my desk.  

It was in that time that my husband was finally home (yay) after 4 days away.

It was in that time that Ginny asked me for more milk without throwing her cup or incessantly whining.

It was in that time, as I was cleaning her up from breakfast that I resisted to the urge to pick her up to wipe the banana off of her pants and instead sat there and marveled as she walked clear across the room.

It was in that moment that I realized that she IS making progress.

It was in that moment that I realized that is is me that needs to slow down, to observe, to encourage, to regain my perspective.  

When I arrived at work I opened up a message from another preemie mom reminding me that it is all about patience, perspective, and gratitude.   Those 30 minutes today changed me and were just what I needed in order to be a better Mom.  

mom confessions

Another confessions post... its been an epic few weeks

It took me until noon today to realize that I had a baby sock stuck inside my shirt.  Im hoping no one at my various meetings noticed the strange purple lump.  

Last week I used my hair straightener to "iron" a wrinkled bow on Virginia's dress.

I often let Virginia play with my makeup brushes while I get ready in the morning.  The feminist side of me is appalled. 

You know you are a neurotic preemie blog mom when several hits a day come from google searches including "purell" or "hand sanitizer"

Heath is away on work travel.  Im finding it harder to be a single dog mom than it is to be a single human mom.  Pippi is clearly pissed that Heath is gone and is letting me know it by peeing on my newish area rug everyday.  

Heath is away... which means an acceptable dinner for me is pretzels, applesauce and chocolate covered espresso beans.

This weekend I let my kid play outside until noon in her footed pajamas.  

Virginia woke up at 3am this past Sunday and wouldn't go back to bed.  I finally fed her breakfast at 6am and she passed out in the highchair.  I seriously considered leaving her there and taking a nap on the couch.  

Naturally as an architect I was thrilled with Virginia's sketching form.  I was not as thrilled when I realized that she promptly wedged that crayon in her nose. 

Gratitude..

A common bond that I find in the preemie and NICU community is a intense feeling of gratitude.  While each person, each story has devastating heartbreak, disappointment, guilt, and fear there are greater stories of triumph and gratitude.  It can often take a long time to find that gratitude but it is usually there.  For it is through that heartbreak, disappointment, guilt and fear that makes each of us grateful for what we do have. Grateful for who we are with on this journey. Grateful for where we are.  Grateful for what we have become.  

Last Friday I was honored to be a part of a March of Dimes fundraiser that centered around gratitude.  It was the brainchild of my friends Brooke and Kevin, who selflessly and passionately organized and engaged the local family teams community to create a fundraiser that benefited each family team. The evening centered around our common bonds and celebrated the reason that we all come together for the March of Dimes.  Family teams were encouraged to invite friends, family and coworkers to the event but to also bring along someone that they were grateful for during their journeys.  It was truly a beautiful (and successful!) gathering of family, friends, supporters, doctors, nurses, physical therapists, NICU mentors, and March of Dimes staff.  

Below are the two videos that were shown during the program.  No words can explain the the heartbreak and gratitude better than these images.  

video courtesy of Seven Gables Photography

Brooke, April and Alyssa

photo courtesy of  Seven Gables Photography

In addition to sharing her story through her video, April of Lily's Amazing Grace passionately talked about her family's journey with prematurity and loss and why her heartbreak and gratitude has made her passionate about helping others.  She is a NICU nurse, a March of Dimes Ambassador, and  honors her daughter Lily everyday through her own non-profit. 

I am so grateful to have Brooke and April in my life.  They have both endured far more than one can even imagine, yet each find the strength, resolve and gratitude to give back.  Thank you for all you do for this community.  We are grateful for you! 

It takes a village...

It takes a village to be a Mom.

It took a village to care for my child when I just wanted to be a regular Mom.

It takes a village to be a preemie Mom.

It takes a village to be a working Mom.

It takes a village to be a there.is.no.family.nearby.to.save.my.ass. Mom.

It takes a village to be a rookie Mom.

It takes a village to be a modern Mom.

It takes a village to truly appreciate the pureness of motherhood.

Im so thankful to all of the very special people in my village.  They are family, they are strangers, they are neighbors, they are bloggers, they are preemie mamas, they are loss mamas, they are new friends, they are old friends.  

Today I celebrate my village.  Happy Mothers day to all the Moms and all the villages out there and to these two beautiful Moms.

 My Mom (Moma) on the first day that she was able to hold Virginia. 

My Mother in Law (Nino) on the first day that she was able to hold Virginia.

Last years mothers day post will forever apply to My Little Virginia.  xoxo

mom confessions

Previous mom confessions can be found here , here and here .

In the past week I have caught Virginia eating mulch, dirt, and dog food. 

Virginia is in a Mama stage.  It is very sweet and I am secretly loving it. That is, except for the screaming and desperately reaching for me as I leave for work in the morning.  Walking away form your screaming child is so unnatural isn't it?

It is SO hard not to compare kids.  

I am WAY more exhausted after a day at home with Virginia than I am on any workday.  Even on the days where I go back into the office after she is in bed.

Ginny's  s.l.o.w. progress towards truly walking is making me crazy.  This is mostly because I am just anxious for her to meet this milestone and start to blossom in other areas, but also because she is ruining all of her pants and shoes.  Shameful, I know.  

I always feel like I am "cramming" for a test every Thursday as I try to fit in all of the PT exercises that I have forgotten about prior to Friday morning sessions.  This is getting better as I find more ways to integrate the exercises into our morning routine because the evenings in this house are deemed a success if everyone is fed and bathed without any major meltdowns (adults included). 

I long for the day that I can take a shower without having to toss bath toys out of the shower to keep V from emptying the trash, unraveling the toilet paper, and  taking a dip in the toilet.  

sippycups suck.  Seriously... their only job is to NOT leak and all they do is leak.  

Nothing to confess here... I am just proud as a peacock of this little girl

March For Babies - Round 2

We had another wonderful March for Babies weekend with our friends and family.  We had family travel from as far away as Maryland, Long Island and Upstate New York and had Friends travel in from Boston and Westchester.  The proper words escape me to relay just how thankful we are for all of the love and support for Virginia and our family and for the March of Dimes.  We still have 1 more big fundraiser to close out our March of Dimes season (more on that later this week) but in the meantime here is Team Go Ginny Go by the numbers:

2 walks

#1 team in Fairfield County; Top 5 in the state

41 Adult walkers

14 baby/toddler wobblers

over 100 individual donations

11 people who raised over $150.  Congrats and Thank YOU to Jenn F, Colleen R, Donna K, Ellie H, Mary F, Tricia D, Heath K, Suzanne P, Leah F and Diana O.

and $10,751 raised so far.  

All so that one day all babies will be born healthy.

Thank you ALL for your support for Go Ginny Go!  We will be back again for March for Babies 2014 and Im sure by then Virginia will be RUNNING! 

 baby friends

 baby friends photo fail

 Go Ginny Go Fairfield

 Future Architects

Team Go Ginny Go (those that weren't ready for a nap!) went to Shake Shack after the walk for burgers and Go Ginny Go Concretes (ice cream).  Perfect way to end a perfect day!  

highs and lows

 low for the week: Forgetting Virginia's bag and not realizing it until we were 3.5 hours away from home.  Luckily we had a few diapers, a sippy cup and some toys.  The problem was that we had family photos the next morning so I was at target bright and early to get clothes and necessities.  It may be the low for the week , but any low that includes a solo trip to target must make it a pretty good week.

 high for the week:  Going to Shake Shack for dessert.  A very special dessert indeed!  Ginny currently has her very own "concrete" that benefits the March of Dimes at our local Shake Shack.  She loved her very own creation (vanilla custard, salted caramel sauce, milk chocolate chunks and cheesecake blondie) and it was fun see all of the Go Ginny Go signs around the restaurant.  We will be going one more time after the March for Babies walk on Sunday with our friends and family!

funny moment of the week: Ginny dancing with her Y bike down the sidewalk.  She loves being outside these days.  She practices walking, plays in the dirt, and LOVES watching the big kids play tag in the courtyard.